The Addiction of Worry
Let me paint a picture for you.
You’re 17 years old coming home late from a night of hanging out with your friends. As soon as you unlock the front door, your parent flicks on the light and starts to inquire about your night. Frustrated you respond, “Why are you still awake, I told you I would be home at X time??
Your parent responds, “Oh I know, but you know I can’t sleep until I hear you come through the door. I’m a parent! I can’t help but worry until I know you’re home safe.”
Now, let’s consider this example.
Your parent knows (I hope) that lying awake worrying about you is doing absolutely nothing to increase your safety. But sending one's kid out in the world is an experience that often feels very scary and out of control. After all, what if something happens to you??
So why do we worry?
Sometimes it helps us feel productive in the face of uncertainty. It may even feel careless to not worry, like we’re being naive or will be grossly unprepared if the worst-case scenario does happen.
This cycle of worry can feel addictive (and involuntary) due to a combination of psychological, cognitive, and behavioural factors. Here's a breakdown of some key components:
Anxiety and uncertainty: Worry often arises as a response to anxiety and the desire to reduce uncertainty. When faced with uncertain or potentially threatening situations, our brain's natural inclination is to seek certainty and safety. Worry can provide a false sense of control or the illusion of being prepared, temporarily alleviating anxiety and uncertainty.
Cognitive patterns: Certain cognitive patterns contribute to the cycle of worry. Catastrophic thinking, where individuals imagine the worst-case scenarios, can fuel worry and maintain the cycle. Cognitive biases, like overestimating the likelihood of negative outcomes or believing we won’t be able to cope with negative outcomes, reinforce the need to worry and perpetuate the cycle.
Reinforcement and avoidance: Worry can be perpetuated through negative reinforcement and avoidance. When individuals worry, they may experience temporary relief from anxiety or distress. This relief acts as a reward, reinforcing the behaviour and fueling the cycle. Worrying can also be a way to avoid taking action or confronting the underlying issues, further reinforcing the need to worry.
Habit formation: Repetition plays a role in the development of worry as a habit. The more individuals engage in worrying, the more it becomes an automatic response to various triggers. Over time, the brain reinforces this habit by establishing neural pathways that make worrying our automatic default response to stress and uncertainty.
Perceived benefits: Individuals often believe that worrying serves a purpose or has benefits. They may think that worrying helps them problem-solve, prevent negative outcomes, or maintain control. These perceived benefits contribute to the reinforcement of worrying as a good strategy, making it difficult to break free from the cycle.
Emotional regulation: Worrying can serve as a means to regulate emotions. It may temporarily reduce anxiety by allowing individuals to feel more prepared or in control. We start to rely on worrying as our main coping mechanism as opposed to seeking healthier (more helpful) strategies to regulate our emotions.
Social and cultural factors: Societal and cultural influences can also contribute to the cycle of worry. If worrying is reinforced or encouraged within a person's social environment or cultural context, they may adopt it as normative behaviour. Being raised by a parent who is an excessive worrier might normalize and validate it as a helpful strategy and social support or attention received when expressing worry can also further reinforce the pattern.
It's important to note that while worry may provide short-term relief, excessive and chronic worrying can have seriously detrimental effects on mental and physical well-being. Breaking the cycle of worry often involves addressing underlying anxiety, challenging cognitive patterns, developing healthier coping mechanisms, and seeking support from mental health professionals when needed.
If you need help breaking your cycles of worry, you might consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can help guide you in forging more helpful behaviours in the face of stress and uncertainy.
