A Guide: What Does It Mean To “Process Emotions?”
“My therapist told me I need to get better at processing my emotions”
In the world of mental health, the concept of emotional processing is at the forefront of many conversations. While the above quote may be helpful insight and guidance, I have to admit that before becoming a therapist I had no idea what it meant to “process emotions” and even less of an idea about how to do so effectively. This article aims to demystify the process of emotions, offering insights and strategies to help you navigate your emotional landscape with greater clarity and ease.
What Does It Mean to Process Emotions?
Processing emotions involves recognizing, understanding, and dealing with your feelings in a helpful way. It’s about allowing yourself to experience emotions in their fullness rather than going our regular route of suppressing or ignoring them. It may seem counter-intuitive, but allowing our feelings to surface periodically helps alleviate emotional distress and leads to better mental health. If you dropped a carbonated beverage, it would be the difference between slowly releasing the pressure over the sink or having the can explode in your bag at some super inconvenient time.
Why Is Processing Emotions Important?
Emotional Regulation: Properly processing emotions helps you regulate your emotional responses, preventing extreme or out-of-control reactions that can negatively impact your relationships and daily life.
Mental Clarity: By addressing your emotions, you can learn why you feel the way you do and make better decisions to help yourself feel differently.
Physical Health: Chronic emotional suppression can lead to physical health issues such as headaches, digestive problems, and weakened immune function just to name a few (but you already knew that).
Improved Relationships: Understanding our emotions enhances our ability to communicate effectively about what we need and empathize with others, which has the potential to improve virtually every aspect of our lives.
Steps to Process Emotions
Acknowledge Your Emotions: The first step is to recognize and accept what you are feeling. This might seem simple, but it requires mindful awareness. Pay attention to your bodily sensations and thoughts to identify your emotions.
Example: If you’re driving and someone cuts you off, where does the anger show up in your body? How can you tell you’re angry? Are you clenching your jaw? Does your chest feel tight? Does your skin feel hot? Often we’re so shut off from our bodily sensations it can be hard to notice when we’re beginning to feel dysregulated.
2. Name Your Emotions: Putting a name to your emotions can provide clarity. Are you feeling angry, sad, anxious, or frustrated? Labelling your emotions helps you understand them better.
Research reveals the average person can name just three emotion words and I bet you can guess what they are (you nailed it: happy, sad, mad). I feel “bad” obviously doesn’t capture the nuance of the emotional human landscape and it’s helpful to try to be as accurate as possible when trying to process your emotions. I like to use tools like this feelings wheel to help clients expand their emotional repertoire.
3. Understand the Source: Reflect on what might be causing these emotions. Are they triggered by a specific event, person, or thought? Understanding the root cause can offer valuable insights.
Are you feeling hurt by someone? Lonely? Overwhelmed by everything you have going on?
4. Allow Yourself to Feel: Permit yourself to fully experience your emotions without judgment. Emotions are not inherently good or bad; they are a natural part of being human.
Understand your emotions are valid! That doesn’t mean that they’re right or wrong…they simply are. It likely makes sense you’re feeling the way you do.
5. Express Your Emotions: Find healthy ways to express what you are feeling.
This could be through talking to a trusted friend or therapist, journaling, or engaging in creative activities like painting or music.
6. Seek Support: Sometimes, processing emotions can be overwhelming. Seeking support from a therapist can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping strategies.
7. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself during this process. Understand that it’s okay to feel a wide range of emotions and that processing them takes time.
We are often quite nasty to ourselves when we’re struggling with something which compounds our distress. Practice speaking nicely to yourself by normalizing how you feel and sending loving understanding your way (e.g., this feeling is hard, it makes sense that I feel this way, I’m sure many other people would feel similarly, etc.).
8. Implement Coping Strategies: Develop and use coping strategies that work for you. This might include mindfulness practices, deep breathing exercises, physical activity, or engaging in hobbies you enjoy.
Common Barriers to Processing Emotions
Societal Stigma: Society often discourages emotional expression, especially for men, which can lead to emotional suppression and increased outbursts or dysregulation.
Fear of Vulnerability: Many people fear being judged or appearing weak if they express their emotions.
Lack of Emotional Awareness: Not everyone has been taught how to recognize and understand their emotions.
Past Trauma: Previous traumatic experiences can make it difficult to process emotions healthily.
Conclusion
Processing emotions is a vital skill for maintaining mental health and fostering personal growth. By acknowledging, understanding, and expressing your feelings, you can navigate life's challenges more effectively and build stronger, more empathetic relationships. Remember, it's okay to seek support and take your time with this process. Embracing your emotional journey is a step towards a healthier and more fulfilling life.
If you're finding it difficult to process your emotions or need additional support, consider reaching out to a licensed therapist. They can provide you with the tools and guidance necessary to manage your emotional health effectively.
